Friday 13...

Scary!  Things weren't exactly going to well as it was.  But do I really believe...?  Thirteen is actually regarded as lucky in Wicca!  I'm still not entirely okay about the number, but I don't worry as much about that now.  But I still worry about Friday 13...

But I did just see the most amazing crow in the trees, from the kitchen window - so big and beautiful.  He looked straight at me.  I miss the wild crows and jackdaws at Marwell Zoo.  Colin and I used to be annual members and go there on a regular basis - as well as Birdworld and, at one point, Blue Reef Aquarium.

I haven't left the flat since the start of November.  I went around to try to collect a parcel of ours from the next-door neighbours (who weren't in by then, and one of them brought it over later.)  It was my Netbook - my birthday present - which is how I know that we're talking about the start of November!!!  Days, weeks, months merge into one another, and life drifts on.  I don't want to bore anyone with details of my specific physical or mental health symptoms, though - serves no purpose. Before that, I went to the dentist - felt that I couldn't cancel for what would have been the third time.  And before that, it was the hairdressers...Guess my hair looked good for the dentist and his wife, then!!!  I know that I really do need to break the cycle, but each time that I'm nearly there psychologically, my body "chucks out" the most awful symptoms.  I am going crazy, though.  But I don't know how I will deal with social situations, either.  I wasn't exactly coping, in that respect, before.  I am terrified of telephones.  I don't currently talk to anyone apart from Colin - except for online.  If it wasn't for the internet, I would be completely isolated, and I am so grateful for our computers.  It isn't an ideal situation, but at least I have some contact with the outside world.

Right, I'll shut up now!  Love and peace to you all. xxx